Saturday, April 28, 2012

For You...

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I have a very odd way of remembering things that truly impact me. It could be 10 years later and if I remember something in great detail it is because it was either a turning point in my life, something that held great meaning to me at the time, or just something that sticks with me and no matter what I can't shake it or forget it. Tonight one of these memories is has come flooding back and I feel led to share it with you because I believe one of you needs to hear this right now. 

When I was about 19 years old I was reading the newspaper.. (Don't ask me why because that has never been a habit of mine!) I think I was reading the "Dear Abby" colum... At least that's what I think it was, please correct me if I am wrong.. It was either dear Abby or Dear Nancy? But I am leaning towards Dear Abby! Either way, I remember it was a reprint of this poem, apparently she had printed this poem many years earlier and someone was requesting she print it again, and so she did. I read this poem that day and it has always stuck with me, so I decided to Google it tonight and there it was on more than a dozen sites.. So I thought I would share it with you.

 Welcome to Holland 
By Emily Perl Kingsley 

 I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...... 

 When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

 After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

 "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." 
 But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. 

 The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

 So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

 It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

 But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." 

 And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

 But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland. 

 I know that Emily wrote this poem to describe what it was like to raise a child with a disablity but I believe it applies to so much more. I pray that tonight we reflect on all of our plans.. Weather they be for children or for spouses, for ministries, to where you are living. And think of all the times you heard "Welcome to Holland". How many times have we felt our lives turned upside down to sit back and remember its not about us and our plans but the plans that our God has in store for us. His plans are always the best even of we don't understand them. I know personally I have landed in "Holland" a few times, but looking back I see God purpose for the trip. So my question to you now is, have you ever been to Holland, or are you in Holland now?

He says, "Be still and know that I am God;  I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.” 
Psalm 46:10

Sunday, April 8, 2012

A Living God

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"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has Risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, "He is going ahead of you into Galilee. there you will see him, Just as he told you."
Mark 16:6 & 7  

What a glorious Easter Sunday my family had. Praise God He is Risen.. He is alive and living in us.
I just want to take a quick moment and share a little something that happened on good Friday. We attended a wonderful service and as it came to a close our children rejoined us from their activities. There was a presentation a group of young adults did that was spectacular,  but during the presentation they played clips of the film Passion of the Christ. I was watching the young adults and looked down at my daughter who was sitting beside me, and she had tears streaming down her face. I quickly looked up and followed her eyes and realized that while I watched the presentation, she was watching the gruesome images on the screen. (It is a wonderful film and I recommend it.. just not for little eyes)  I quickly hugged her, and she just sat there with tears still coming down her little 8 year old face, I asked her if she was ok and she simply said "I don't like what they did to my Jesus".  I took that opportunity to remind her that He went through all that for her because he loves her that much. she sat there for a moment took a deep breath, wiped her tears away and said.. "praise God He rose on Sunday!"

How right my little girl is! He rose.. there for He is no longer a dead God but a living God! Through Him we all have a savior, we have the choice to seek Him, be forgiving, be made white as snow and be a new creature. A new person! What I mean by that is to take all the pain, sadness, and hurt that we have experience or caused and to be forgiven by Him, to allow Him to come in and help heal our past.  We serve a living God! I can barely contain myself as my heart pounds with excitement that its not over! That my heavenly father has a plan for me and it is a life changing one. So lets rejoice and honer him with every step we take.. with every decision we make. not just the big ones but the small ones as well, God doesn't want to be a visitor in our lives He wants to be LORD.. But it is up to you weather you allow Him to be or not! In Deuteronomy 30:15 it states "I lay before you life and good, and death and evil.... choose life". Have you made that choice?

If you have, praise God I rejoice with you!
If you haven't its not to late, He is waiting you. He loves you and has a wonderful future in store for you.
If your not sure than declare it today! right now. He will meet you right where you are. He loves you!

If you have any questions or you are unsure how to go about things,  please feel free to contact me. I would love to tell you about Him and what He has done in me. if you have read my previous post you know I was a mess! if you haven't read them and you will understand why I say that! share this post with anyone you feel needs a new start, needs forgiveness, needs healing.

How has this resurrection weekend affected you?


Wednesday, April 4, 2012

I am no super woman!

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He found him out in the wilderness, in an empty, windswept wasteland. He threw his arms
around him, lavished attention on him, guarding him as the apple of his eye.
Deuteronomy 32:10 

I must first take a moment and apologize for not posting anything in a while.. I am happy to announce that We have finally moved into our new home and are in the final phase of finishing the renovation.. It is down to all cosmetic things. I have painted all but 2 small areas our closet and laundry room, 3 if you count the garage! But I am happy that my kids are finally settled and adapting well to the house and their new rooms. 

Of course with all this transition and work that we still had left to be done, our schedules have taken a hit and we are working to regain our routine. It has been hard when my husbands days off where still focused on mudding and texturizing the new walls.. Not an easy task when you are living in the space and trying to keep the area you are living in dust free, and i am not talking regular dust i am talking joint compound dust that takes over everything!  Again I am happy to be done with that! 

However after a few weeks of focusing on that I must admit I began to feel like I was losing my mind. Our schedule was crazy and I stayed up later and later trying to catch up on things.. Therefore not getting enough sleep, and as we all know that is not a good thing! I began to feel inadequate as a Christian, wife and mother. I couldn't find school papers, I fell behind daily tasks, I couldn't keep up with laundry, needless I was having a bad couple days... Have you ever had one of those? Where you just feel like you can't get it together no matter how hard you try!? Well that was me.. And I would say to myself "tomorrow will be better" and then it was worse than the day before! Hehe well I would pray and thank God I was alive, that my husband and children where healthy, and praise Him for all the blessings in our lives.. But still I felt I was falling short daily.

Then one evening I was sitting on the couch tired, exhausted and ready to cry at the drop of pin... When my beautiful daughter who was not feeling her best came and sat on my lap and snuggled up to me. She needed me! ME! At that moment when I felt like I was failing her she needed me. That was my Awesome All knowing heavenly Father and His perfect timing, that was His gentle reminder that she doesn't see my short fallings, she doesn't see me the way I was seeing myself at that moment. To her I was just her mommy and that was all she needed from me at that moment. She didn't need me to be the super woman I felt I needed to be. Of course at this moment I did cry, because it also reminded me that God too does not see me the way I was seeing myself. Praise God for that!  So I went and spent some time with my Heavenly Father and gave it all to Him.. I left all my concerns and worries at His feet making sure I didn't pick them all back up the next day, or the day after that. 

My beloved Women.. When we feel down or have a rough time lets not forget who we are! Who our Father says we are! our families need us and count on us, but let's not forget that we need our God, who is ready and willing to guide us every step of the way. I thank God I am still a work in progress... Because that means He has not given up on me, and here is the Good news He NEVER will!

How precious and weighty also are Your thoughts to me, O God! 
How vast is the sum of them!
Psalm 139:17

If you have doubts or your not sure and wondering what God does say about you.. Please feel free to contact me. There are no wrong or dumb questions. We all start some where.. In fact as we get closer to Easter this week, my son and I were just having a conversation this morning about why Jesus did have to die on the cross for us. I loved hearing him talk about the love he knows God has for him, I admitted to him that for years I heard this amazing story and still didn't understand it... How could one man do that and why.. How I just didn't comprehend who he was and why. I know now but it took me a while to understand. So please feel free to email me any questions or concerns you have at 

Search me [thoroughly], o God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there is any wickeder hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23&24

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Be blessed